Emily
It took me a while to find the words...not for lack of love and support...but because I was battling my own demons in life. Brandon James Clark...my best friend at one time in my life...and at one time my first love...ride or die...8 yrs of a relationship. I don't know the Brandon that Oregon knew..I may not know the good,bad and/or ugly, whatever memories, lifestyle Brandon was living out there... I can give only stories and memories for just about a quarter of my life with this guy... and these memories hit like a knife in the chest. Painful....but painful because of the intense, real, raw, life changing experiences we had together. Sure, some and alot were bad...scary..sad...but those feelings only made possible because of the love experienced for each other. I am grateful that I don't have only those experiences with him. I got to see..love..adore..and lay with that goofy "kid" that believed in his family and wanted to be the guy that did things differently..better. The memories of the Brandon I first met... well...they are of him in tears because he knew he believed in something big and wanted so much in life and didn't want to hurt people. He was passionate about his last name and wanted to be known for any of the good that came from it. But than that battle with addiction...the same battle that as kids we unfortunately experienced together..that battle that I still fight every day of my life...is the battle that forever changed him and sadly took him out. I remember watching it slowly take him over...I remember the tears he shed wishing for better for more. He made his choices yes..but addiction is not easy. And those that know what it's like...know. Like I said...Im grateful to have met the real Brandon...long ago...I was able to hear what his goals and aspirations were at one point in time...when REAL feelings were there and Love. My heart broke into a million pieces when I heard he no longer was on this earth....I was driving and screamed on top of my lungs. . felt like a very huge part of my life had died. I knew that huge chunk of my life was forever gone..I know that's the same chunk of my life that paved the way for my struggles today but I'm ok with that. But I felt that Brandon Clark and MY MEMORIES...well..they were unique and different than most. He was my ride or die. First love. Shoot for the stars. Experience things for the first time together. Can't imagine being a part kind of love. I wanted to leave those memories here because those memories of Brandon are harder to find as the years went on...but the Brandon I have chose to remember is the one I once was in love with. Love your life Brandon, BC, KID, Bucccaaaaaa. Fly high. I hope pain no longer resides in you and only the Brandon from deep within is alive. No more suffering. 💕
