A Letter From The Deceased Norm Kidd    Our Grief Support Groups often use a mechanism to share their feelings of sorrow, anger, fear, disappointment, etc. with the significant person in their lives that has died.  I ask them to write a letter to that person, sharing their feelings from the positive to the negative.  It's often a freeing encounter that allows them the therapy of putting their feelings on paper.  In one of our groups, a lady wondered audibly, "I wonder what my husband might write back."  A few weeks later we were discussing the concept of forgiving ourselves and "cutting ourselves some slack"; giving ourselves plenty of room to think and to grow through the grief journey.  Again, one of our men said what really needed to be said:  "I think the person who would be most gentle with us would be our spouse (who has died)." Out of those conversations, I wrote a letter from a spouse who had died, to the one left behind.  I tried to communicate what the deceased might say to the one struggling with grief.  Below you will find that letter.  When we read it in our grief groups, most of the people experienced a "break-through" moment.  Out of their pain, sorrow and grief, they had a new view of allowing grace into their grief experience. If your spouse has recently died, I hope you will find the same.  Norm Kidd My dear, loving (insert your name), It’s wonderful to be able to write to you and let you know how I feel.  To begin with, I'm fine.  The pain is gone, the suffering is over and so many things that seemed important are no longer so.  I must tell you immediately, once again, how much I love you. That was true then, now and forever. It’s good to see you making steps toward discovering who you are and how you feel about the life you now have. You always had inside you what you are discovering now. How happy I am that you are seeing the “you” that I have known for a long time. You are also finding many strengths I did not see in you, but were there nonetheless. I know things changed dramatically when I died. But you have been remarkable in making progress in your grief. I am so proud of you. No one could be prouder. I’ll never forget our lives together, just as you won’t. Know that I am pulling for you and loving you all the more from this side. I love you. Lovingly, (insert the name of the deceased) Bobbitt Memorial Chapel . (909) 882-3761 . San Bernardino, California Provided to the Grief Support Group . July, 2005 An original letter written by Norm Kidd